Time once again for another Top 5 List, this time of wonderfully bizarre products. The criterion for making the list is quite simple: it must make me wonder, “Do they really make that?” Laughing out loud is optional but highly preferable.
Number 5: Anti-Procrastination Course. Haha, right. Like I’ll ever get around to ordering this, even if it is on sale for a limited time. Or loading it on my computer if I order it. Or using it if by some miracle I get around to both ordering it and loading it on my computer.
Number 4: Retro handsets for cell phones. Are you ever nostalgic for the good old days of party lines and rotary-dial phones? Regain that old school feeling whilst still enjoying the benefits of cutting edge smart phone communication. Black is the retro-est, but it is also available in princess phone pink, Kremlin hotline red, white, and not-quite-so-60s blue, purple, and green.
Number 3: Bacon flavored and scented stuff. Thankfully, bacon is in once again, but I didn’t realize to what extent. Now you can get more than $40 worth of bacon stuff for just $39.95. What a bargain! That’s right – bacon flavored dental floss and toothpaste, lip balm, soap, bandaids, mints and lollipop, bendable figure and more!
Number 2: The CitiKitty Automatic Toilet Flusher. I knew that cats could be trained to go in the toilet, but what happens afterward? Never fear – there is a product that will flush once Kitty is finished with business, just like the toilets at the airport. Now to go figure out the payback period for a toilet-training kit ($25) plus a flusher kit ($189).
And Number 1: NoseFrida the Snot Sucker! I have three children, so I spent my share of time wrestling to clear their stuffy little noses with a bulb syringe. Babies can put up quite a fight when they don’t want to do something. Nothing against the FridaBaby company or anything, but I have to wonder whether they would have pitched any less a fight against the NoseFrida. Then there’s the ick factor. Filter or not, I cannot imagine myself sucking my baby’s snot. Bonus! FridaBaby has two more products for your consideration: the Windi, for relieving blockages at the other end, from colic or constipation, and the environment friendly, recyclable, easy to clean, non–toxic foam FridaBaby Mat (be sure to keep an organic cider vinegar wash at hand for easy cleaning).